At work, in a store, in a relationship, or in your family, being tempted to do something you don’t want and feel bad if you don’t is manipulation. We answered questions such as what is manipulation, how to understand it, what are the techniques, what should you do in such a situation, in all details.
The person who manipulates the other person is not strong, but weak. This definition is given to us by expert psychologist Sharie Stines. People who are masters of manipulation, They make the other person do whatever they want by bullying or making themselves look like victims. The person exposed to manipulation may not even be aware of it because you have been exposed to suggestions that you will feel much worse if you do not do what is asked.
manipulation You may encounter them at work, in a store, in a romantic relationship, among friends or even family. People who are incapable of saying what they want have no choice but to manipulate the other person by creating a strategy of their own. What is manipulation, how do you know you are being manipulated, Let’s take a closer look at the answers to all the questions, such as what you should do in such a situation.
What is manipulation?
According to expert psychologist Sharie Stines manipulation, from directly telling or asking about their wants and needs. practiced by people who are incapable It is an extremely unhealthy psychological strategy. The main purpose of people who try to manipulate the other person is to control other people.
In the simplest terms, we can say that those who try to manipulate the other person are emotional aggressors. because these people instead of having a normal dialogue they either take on the role of a bully or the role of a victim. As a result of both roles, the manipulated person is subject to suggestions that will feel very, very bad if the aggressor does not do what they want.
Manipulator roles: bully or victim
Manipulators carry out emotional attacks through two basic roles, the bully and the victim. If the manipulator is in a higher position than you, or bully if he knows you really need him role if that person is in a lower position than you, and sacrifice if you don’t need it will play the role.
The young man who wants 20 liras to return to his hometown, the bank officer who said that if you don’t get a credit card, he can’t get his salary, The clerk who says that if you don’t buy one of the products in the cash register, you can’t get a promotion, The most common victim role manipulators are the salesman who sells things you don’t need in front of the mosque and tells you what a bad faith you are if you don’t buy them.
The manipulator in the role of a bully can come across at much more complex points. If your partner thinks they are the alpha in the relationship, If your grandparents think they’re going to have a devastating effect on you, your boss knows you’ll do whatever you want to pay for the car, and in many other situations, the manipulator can quickly take on the role of a bully.
How do you know you have been manipulated?
Unfortunately, the understanding of this situation is completely dependent on your feelings. So much so that a professional manipulator ‘Stop manipulating me.’ if you say, You may be under a much more intense emotional attack. Because if you feel afraid, uncomfortable, or sense that something is not right during communication, this is a manipulation, but it cannot be proven.
Because the people we call professional manipulators are helpless people who have not been able to communicate well throughout their lives. It’s the only method they know. Maybe later you can understand the manipulation situation you have been through, but you may not realize for a long time that a person you are talking to is manipulating you.
The term ‘strong character’ is used for most manipulators. No, manipulators are not powerful. On the contrary, they use this way because they are weak. If a person If he is constantly forcing you to do something, If you don’t do this, you feel bad, the emotional attack increases when you protest, or the person repeatedly states how bad he will be if you don’t do what he wants, this is manipulation.
The most common manipulator tactics are:
- It takes you to places such as his house, car, familiar place that he always dominates.
- He always gives you the first turn to speak so he learns about your weaknesses.
- It distorts the facts and presents a much more dramatic reality.
- Intellectually bullying and trying to gain the upper hand by mentioning meaningless information and statistics.
- Whatever the subject, it will discourage you by counting even the unlikely obstacles.
- He stands up, makes aggressive body movements and does not hesitate to raise his voice.
- He is ready to upset your balance with a negative surprise.
- It gives you very little time to make decisions and leaves you stressed.
- He demoralizes you by making so-called jokes that will highlight your weaknesses.
- Regardless of the subject, he constantly judges, criticizes, mocks and tries to marginalize you.
- He remains silent in your conversations, saying nothing, which is the greatest of emotional attacks.
- It makes you feel great by pretending to be ignorant, but the blow is imminent.
If you are a healthy individual who enjoys expressing and talking about his feelings and does not hesitate to approach the other party in good faith, you can use all the above tactics. sheer psychological violence you understand that. Unfortunately, all individuals with a healthy psychology frequently encounter these unhealthy tactics used by weak people.
Basically, the goal is to make the person feel bad. To get someone who feels bad enough to get what they want and if they don’t a strategy based on making you feel bad It is possible to encounter manipulation in all areas of life. When we consider the density of people who do not have healthy communication skills, we can understand how often they are encountered.
What to do against manipulation?
The way to get rid of some manipulators is simple, get it out of your life. If you are being manipulated by a friend, lover, husband or wife, do not think for a moment and cut this unhealthy person out of your life. They will never get better and the situation will only get worse day by day as they get used to manipulating. Get rid of this person as soon as possible.
There are also manipulators we can’t get rid of. Our family, our relatives, our neighbors, our co-workers, our boss, maybe even our children. Since we have material and moral obligations towards these people, we cannot remove them from our lives and they We have to succumb to their emotional attacks. So what to do?
If necessary Stop blaming yourself by getting help from a psychologist. No one has to do something they don’t want to do. Let them be a little sad. Remind yourself often that you feel sorry for a helpless manipulator who cares about no one but himself. Do not hesitate to seek help from government agencies if the size of the attack increases. Never forget; You are the normal one, not him.
It is a psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of healthy communication. what is manipulation, how do you know you have been manipulated, We answered the most frequently asked questions such as what to do in such a situation. You can share how you developed a defense mechanism against manipulators in the comments.