According to the 2021 data of the Turkish Statistical Institute (TUIK), the second most common reason for divorce is cheating. Although the reason for cheating changes each time, the result is always the same: a broken relationship, insecurity, disappointments, traumas. Psychology, on the other hand, thinks that cheating may be related to some personality traits.
These days, we have begun to see spouses cheating on each other frequently in TV series and movies. According to the results of the research, the frequent processing of this phenomenon in TV series has led to the conclusion that cheating is common in real life, as well as those who think that TV series are an imitation of real life.
By Professor Gerald R. Weeks (2008), who studies family and couples therapies at the University of Nevada, “without the consent of the partnerInfidelity, which is defined as “sharing an emotional and sexual intimacy with someone other than the primary relationship”, on a sexual level as it can be on an emotional level can stay. In addition to these two types, a new type of cheating has emerged that is not even considered cheating by most people: Virtual Deception. It is a concept that starts with people who are already in a relationship spending more time with people they meet in the virtual environment than their real partners, and then they have virtual love with these people.
Why do cheaters cheat?
While no normal relationship begins with the intention of cheating, some may end in cheating. Experts say that people who cheat are trying to fill the gaps in their lives. No cheating is justified, whatever the reason, and cheating harms relationships; in spouses insecurity and disappointments it reveals.
When scientists investigate this event, which is frequently seen in society and has serious harm to society, it is believed that people who cheated similar personality traits they saw it show.
Personality traits of cheating spouses according to psychology research:
lack of self-control
According to the results of the researches, people who lack self-control, that is, people with weak will, cheat more. your feelings, unable to control their thoughts a reason for cheating.
being emotionally unstable
who don’t know what they want undecided people They have problems in all areas of life. But when it comes to a romantic relationship, the damage they do to the other party is more. Their feelings change quickly, they begin to be unable to get satisfaction from the relationship. This can result in cheating on the partner.
have a low sense of satisfaction
Perfectionism, dissatisfaction with anything can happen in a boss or in a spouse. Such persons feelings of inadequacy in their partners they lead. The deceived person experiences the despair of ‘I can’t make him happy no matter what I do’.
low sense of responsibility
Individuals who cannot take responsibility for a relationship have difficulties in staying loyal to that relationship when they start a relationship. They can’t make the sacrifices necessary for the relationship, and that sometimes means cheating. escape from responsibilities leads them to see
Finding narcissism
Because narcissistic individuals think they are the best, they focus on the shortcomings of other individuals and criticize them. When you notice the missing parts of the partner in relationships,I don’t deserve this, I have a better relationship why not‘ thoughts occur. This may lead them to seek a new relationship that they think is more perfect. In men, it usually manifests itself as ego satisfaction.
neurotic personality trait
Although this personality trait is not associated with cheating in men, it seems to increase the tendency to cheat in women. This personality trait includes looking for the guilty outside, being touchy, a constant need for attention has features such as
Does the cheater deserve a second chance?
Although this is a decision that the deceived person should make himself, in case of such a thought, mental health experts will be consulted. family and couple therapy receivable. But even as a result of the therapy received, the deceived person The wolves that gnaw you don’t end. It is very difficult to re-establish trust in the partner, who is the person with whom the most intimate secrets are shared.
In terms of the cheater regain trust It is quite a painful process. Constantly trying to justify himself and dealing with the partner’s negative judgmental thoughts sometimes cause him to give up on the relationship completely.
Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4,