There are some urban legends about the mother-infant relationship, which is the most sacred and precious bond in the world, sometimes by hearsay and sometimes as a result of distorting scientific facts. While these urban legends are mostly harmless, some facts are better to know for a stronger mother-baby relationship.
Carrying a living thing in your womb for months, then giving birth to it and coming home tired and looking after that creature for years. Even without going into details, it is clear how valuable such a situation is. That’s why anyway relationship between mother and baby, It is considered one of the most sacred bonds. However, as with everything mother – baby relationship There are also some urban legends about which origin is unknown.
Urban legends are generally created by distorting scientific facts. Although mostly harmless mother – baby relationship It would be wise to be a little more careful. Help Guide website, Creating a secure bond between mother and baby and tells the urban legends that should not be believed while establishing this connection. With these facts, you will understand what your little baby is talking about.
Common misconceptions about the mother-baby relationship:
- Whatever the mother wants, the baby wants it too.
- A mother’s love for her baby will solve everything.
- A bond cannot be established between a mother who does not understand her baby and her baby.
- Meeting the baby’s every need makes him/her spoiled.
- Babies can connect to anyone, right away.
- It is enough for the mother to understand the baby, the baby does not need to understand the mother.
Whatever the mother wants, the baby also wants it:
Even when we think in its most basic form, mother and baby are now two separate individuals, that is, between each other. There can be no talk of complete harmony. The baby has a nervous system of its own, and the things he enjoys may be completely different from the mother. For this reason, instead of memorized movements, the baby’s likes and dislikes should be observed by carefully monitoring his movements.
A mother’s love for her baby will solve everything:
No one can deny the power of love, the love relationship between mother and baby develops instinctively. But for that special relationship called the secure bond. love alone will not be enough. The mother needs to observe the baby’s movements, read it correctly, evaluate the baby’s cues well and understand it. Although this is a skill that starts to develop in every mother after birth, it will become more successful as it is worked on.
A bond cannot be established between a mother who does not understand her baby and the baby:
Of course, the most beautiful thing is that a mother understands her baby’s every move correctly. But we all know that such a thing is not possible. In this case, the most feared thing is that there is no bond between the mother and the baby, but there is no such thing. You may have misunderstood your baby and caused him to wail. The important thing is learn a lesson from this move and quickly make up for it. The baby will immediately adapt to the situation and the bonding process will continue.
Meeting the baby’s every need makes him/her spoiled:
Maybe a child can be pampered in the process of becoming an adult, but meeting every need in infancy never makes him/her spoiled. Don’t hug the baby when he cries Different theories have been put forward to prevent spoiling the baby, but meeting a baby’s emotional needs correctly will not make him/her spoiled, on the contrary, it will make him/her full of trust and bond with his/her mother.
Babies can connect to anyone, immediately:
The biggest fear, especially of new mothers, is that the baby will form a stronger bond with the caregiver or a family member who is taking care of him, than his mother. There is no such thing, because babies are just establish a secure bond with one person, That person is their mother. An innate sense of instinctive attachment will become stronger over time as the mother understands the baby correctly, and that unique bond will be formed.
It is enough for the mother to understand the baby, the baby does not need to understand the mother:
A one-sided effort is not enough for a secure bond between mother and baby. The baby also needs to understand the mother. Of course, you can’t make your baby read this content, but you can make your baby understand you with certain movements you make in certain situations. The same repetitive behaviors will make certain situations settle in the baby’s mind and he will begin to understand the mother. A secure bond will be easily formed in relationships where both parties understand each other.
Some basic baby behaviors:
- The baby who sucks strongly, swallows the milk in his mouth, becomes restless when he moves away from the breast, is hungry.
- The baby, who moves away from the breast, has milk in his mouth, turns his head to the side and tries to look the other way, is full.
- The baby who cries, cries, gets angry, rubs his eyes, has red eyes, and looks into the void is tired.
- The baby with shining eyes, waving excitedly, focusing on a toy and giggling, wants to play.
- The baby who loses interest in an object, tries to look around, becomes irritable and yawns is bored.
- Crying, restless, crying in the presence of strangers, looking for her mother with her eyes, the baby was disturbed at that moment.
Although the responses to needs vary from baby to baby, a basic behavior chart consists of the above reactions. There will be some trial and error, but by quickly learning from the baby’s behavior, you can learn about his needs and get used to intervening as soon as possible.
Things to know about the secure bond between mother and baby:
The secure attachment system is generally based on the mother giving the right meanings by observing her baby’s movements. In this process so that the baby can learn the mother’s behavior repetitive movements can be made. Even though it may seem difficult, it is a process that you can get used to in a short time.
Depressed, addicted, stressed, negative childhood experiences mothers can get help from a specialist in this process. In the same way, help from specialists should be sought in order to establish a secure bond in babies born prematurely, who have nervous system problems, have problems before birth or at birth.
In this process, mothers need to get enough sleep, ask for support from the people around them and It is recommended that they take time for themselves from time to time. Babies who grow up to become adults with a secure attachment form more intimate relationships, are emotionally stable, are more self-confident, overcome disappointments much more quickly, and are much more comfortable sharing their feelings.
It’s about the mother-infant relationship, the most sacred bond in the world. from known wrongs We talked about it and explained the importance of creating a secure bond. There are some general truths, of course, but every mother-baby relationship is special and there is always an expert to help you solve any problem.