Why Do We Hate People Who Don’t Think Like Us?

None of us likes people who don’t think like us, who stand against our actions, our ideas, and the freedoms we feel entitled to. Even this ‘dislike’ situation, when it comes to communication turning into anger and hatred it even easily becomes a fighting material.

These effects, which are felt more passively in daily life, have reached a completely different dimension when it comes to social media. I’m sure everyone has at least once had a heated argument with someone who doesn’t think like them on social media, got angry, He pressed the keys with trembling hands while tweeting.

Well, what made us so angry and turned us against each other, What makes it intolerable? Let’s take a closer look.

In order to better understand what is going on, we have two guests; Cin Ali and Cin Ayşe

These two people do not know each other. It cannot be said that they have much in common in life. But social media is very powerful in this regard; somehow they find themselves ‘talking’ about a topic on Twitter. What they talk about can be any topic. let’s go to this because the issue is not what the issue is Let’s say ‘eating avocado’.

• Cin Ali confidently “Eating avocado is bullshit. Eating and selling avocados should be banned.” says.
• Cin Ayşe gets very angry about this because she loves to eat avocados. He answers immediately; “It’s ridiculous not to actually eat avocados. If you don’t want to die early, you have to eat avocado, but what do you know. Shut up, don’t talk!”
• Cin Ayse, seen as a threat to his freedom to eat avocados. He gets very angry because of these conversations. Because this is clearly an attack on their personal freedom and ideas.
• Cin Ali, on the other hand, states that avocado is not that beneficial for human health; learned something about the avocado trade harming the ecological balance, and he has good reasons. He gets angry at these reactions.

But both because of the sharp language of the debate and the anger it generated. The fight escalates because they cannot explain themselves in a healthy way.

This pointless and pointless discussion between Cin Ali and Cin Ayşe has a very effective explanation in psychology.

something for a child when you say he shouldn’t do it, he stubbornly does it you have witnessed. When you say you can help a friend with something he/she has done wrong, you may have gotten the answer ‘no need, I can do it’…

There is a situation called ‘reactance’ that explains the reason for all these behaviors. According to this theory, also known as ‘Psychological Reactivity Theory’, a person believes that their freedom will be curtailed ‘do not do it stubbornly’ when faced with a prohibition or implied statements; and take back your freedomtends to hold. While doing this, he exhibits an aggressive attitude.

This prohibition or expressions that imply a prohibition feelings of anger and hatred forming. Any person, an offer, rules or regulations can create this reaction in people.

The reaction that occurs is so instinctive, powerful, and real that some studies have shown that people feel at these moments. heart rate changesPhysically, it has been determined that anger and hatred are reflected in the human body.

Let’s go back to Cin Ali and Cin Ayşe and adapt this situation and find out what went wrong;

• When Cin Ali said that eating avocado should be banned, Cin Ayşe said this. sees it as a threat to freedom. As such, he gets angry and feels hatred towards Cin Ali.
• Cin Ayşe’s answer and expressions such as ’empty speech’ also anger Cin Ali because she also uses her freedom of expression in her own way and someone tells her restricting his behavior by saying ‘don’t talk’ interferes with your freedom. Still, he gets angry.

They both behave this way because of a natural reaction of human psychology. Which is right and which is wrong at this point does not matter. What goes wrong is actually completely hidden in the language of communication.

Isn’t there a solution for this, are we going to eat each other like this?

You wouldn’t believe it but this There is a very easy solution. Correcting our expressions. For those who say how, I briefly summarize a research conducted on this subject;

People passing by on the street say ‘we have a survey, it’s very simple, it will only take 5-8 minutes of your time, come on.’ They went with an approach like participation was 70%. Then ‘it’s your decision to participate or not, but we have a survey. It will take 5-8 minutes. Would you like to participate?’ they asked. Participation rate after adding these expressions It’s over 90%.

In other words, even during a very simple offer, a person freedom to choose, to act expressed, a positive effect is observed.

The solution is not to be silent, not to speak, not to express our ideas; While expressing it freely, it continues to do so in a language that everyone can freely do and that does not contain insults, hatred and anger.

anyway freedom of expression actually this is exactly it. We have the right to think and say whatever we want.. However, as it is banned, restricted, threatened, unfortunately this situation has a negative effect rather than a positive effect.

In short, we tend to hate anyone who doesn’t think like us because their thoughts and behaviors as a threat to our own freedoms We see. But it doesn’t have to be like that. It shouldn’t be that hard to accept that everyone can exist with their own ideas and behaviors…

Resources: one. Understanding Psychological Reactance, 2. Persuasion and Psychological Reactance: the Effects of Explicit, High-Controlling Language, 3. Persuasive Storytelling by Hate Groups Online: Examining Its Effects on Adolescents, 4. Characterizing Reactance in Communication Research: A Review of Conceptual and Operational Approaches, 5. From Reactance to Political Belief Accuracy: Evaluating Citizens’ Response to Media Censorship and Bias