Married At First Sight is a unique program that pushes hopeful single participants to their limits, and forces them to marry a total stranger at first sight, after scientific matchmaking. With a 14th season set to debut in 2022, there’s definitely a market for the Danish-inspired show that made its mark over in America.
The participants of the show are forced to follow a strict set of rules in order to stay on, and some of them are quite interesting. Others might rob the romance out of the equation by being too heavy-handed, probably for the sake of the show’s formula. It’s part of what makes the quirky show so fascinating.
Married At First Sight is actually a spinoff of a similarly themed Dutch show that follows a similar matchmaking process. A background check is vital in order to weed out bad apples, felons, or potential abusers. One of the experts on the show, Rachel DeAlto, claims each candidate goes through a thorough background check before being considered as a potential applicant.
While speaking to ET Online, she further explained that the reason was to eject participants who have questionable lives and behaviors or have criminal records or significant debt. It’s a careful step designed to patch up one of the major risk factors for the show – the inability to know who is who, before marrying them.
First-time viewers might think these marriages are for screen value and ratings, hence the possibility for fakery. In fact, all the marriages in the show are legally binding, with a marriage license. The ceremony, however, is a civil one, in order to avoid criticism from traditional religious groups.
The couple has to say some lines twice for production value, in order to get different camera angles. The production also gives direction on where to sit, stand, and travel on the wedding day. This may make the series feel too scripted, but that’s all part of the business and the ones who can’t make the formula work end up going down in history as the worst reality shows on TV.
After the civil wedding, a marriage license must be signed to ensure the legality of the union. This license, which contains a spouse’s vital information, must be signed immediately after the wedding ceremony. Usually, a couple picks up the paperwork a week or two before the wedding ceremony, signs the document after the ceremony, and their officiant mails it the following week.
The couple cannot pick up the paperwork earlier, as it will show the name, age, address, and other key identifying data, thereby ruining the element of surprise on the wedding day. Immediately after the wedding, however, the couples can have access to all data, via the license they sign.
The cast obviously owns property and assets before joining the show and need legal protection in case their marriages fail. For this reason, all couples must sign a prenuptial agreement which basically states that they will exit a marriage with exactly the same assets they started off with before the marriage.
It is a very short and brief prenup that ensures nobody gets into any form of legal trouble. However, it should be noted that once the couple is married, they are free to amend these conditions as they see fit, provided they’re willing to accept the risks.
Married At First Sight is a hit for viewers since it matches 3 couples living in the same city, working with the same relationship experts, and living the same experience. This could be enhanced if there was an all-cast dinner party. However, executive producer Chris Coelen doesn’t think so, claiming it would feel too fake.
While it would be easier from a production standpoint, the sheer hurdle of assembling everyone at one location would cause problems. In March 2018, fans were shown an episode involving a dinner party, which turned out to be rife with shocking moments that were hard to forget.
Married At First Sight consists of a panel of experts, including psychologists, who ensure that each participant fills out an extensive open-ended psychological questionnaire, comprised of 50 questions. This is to evaluate their emotional and mental states in order to determine if they’re appropriate for the show. This is good for the couples, and the fans who have watched their favorites and non-favorites over the years.
One of the show’s counselors, Pastor Calvin Roberson, spoke of the importance of core values, citing that these were legal marriages, and that annulment was not an option. Executive producer Sam Dean added that each of the 4 experts must conduct their own research, which can take upwards of 12 hours.
As experts and the production team have reported in several interviews, the selection process is incredibly thorough, in order to narrow down upwards of 20,000 participants to 6 individuals, who will comprise 3 compatible couples. Once a city is picked and the participants gathered, the first stage is to evaluate them.
Skype and phone interviews are set up, and they are mandatory for anyone wishing to proceed to the next stage. This is followed by an all-encompassing questionnaire so that participants are properly vetted, and incompatible applicants rejected.
This might be obvious given the series title, but it deserves reiteration. Once a city is picked, the production team spends 6 months in preparation by going to churches, bars, and using dating sites to widen their prospective pool. As the selection process continues, three experts have the final say, using science to match them up.
Since these couples should work, at least in theory based on science, they are required to marry and move in together at first sight. After the 8-week period is over, some decide that the match was made in heaven, while others think they were terrible for each other, and opt for divorce.
Once the couple meets and has their civil wedding ceremony, life begins! They go on a honeymoon, and when they come back, live in an apartment the show rents for them. The camera crew pops in several times in a week just to know how they are getting along. But there are moments off-camera that allow them to bond deeper.
They are required to stay married for 8 weeks, until decision day when they will declare their stand, to either remain married or divorce. No one is forced to continue with the relationship after the marital trial period is over and they want out.
Reality TV stars are some of the highest-paid in the world, particularly the Kardashian family. Therefore, it’s reasonable to assume that a foot into reality TV is a pathway to riches. In actuality, the couples earn almost nothing.
Theoretically, this could be a plus, as it forces the prospective couples to pursue marriage based on personal compatibility, as opposed to money and fame. By keeping the focus strictly on finding love, they are able to avoid the pitfalls and trappings of polished TV productions, and the culture surrounding them.
The show is strict about ensuring that the couple meets during the wedding ceremony, and this means that any form of interaction beforehand is avoided. As a result, men and women are separated before the final couples are chosen. This helps sell the “surprise” element of the show, which is fans seem to enjoy the most.
Other variants of the show in different countries have also included same-sex couples, particularly the UK and Australian versions. However, Australian law prevents “marriage at first sight,” so it’s more symbolic, rather than legally binding at this point.
Given the level of scrutiny each participant goes through before the final six are selected, there is no room for dishonesty in the show. The process even includes a home visit in the last stages of the selection process, which helps prevent any surprises from occurring.
Dr. Pepper, one of the show’s experts, said that the trait she most looks for is coachability – someone willing to take advice. They should also be warm, with the ability to empathize with someone else. Coelen added that it is not just about being a perfect match on paper, but also being earnest and kind. As a result, inconsistent stories are red flags that experts keep their eyes and ears out for.
There are participants who have applied to be part of the show because they are genuinely looking for a life partner, while others simply want to see how the process works. No matter the reason, they have to be comfortable with cameras surrounding them for at least 10 hours a day, for a total of 8 weeks. The couples are also allowed to use their own “diary cameras” to capture special moments.
How participants will handle being filmed for this long is something that the experts and producers can’t predict during the rigorous casting process. In addition, couples talk to the producers, who send detailed notes to the experts. This is an exercise that Dr. Pepper says has helped improve the series.
On Decision Day, the couple gets to share their views on the marriage, and declare the way forward to a new life, or a separation. For those who opt to no longer warm each other’s beds, they need to have their own budget for divorce costs, as the production does not bear them.
The show could contribute within a certain period if the couple divorces, and also help them cover the costs of an attorney if they choose, but there is no set amount etched in stone. This adds another layer to the process in order to try and guarantee that couples are in it for the right reasons.
Perhaps in order to start off with a clean slate, the producers make it clear that participants must not have been married before, or have any existing children. This is to guarantee that both can start off on a fresh note, without any potential baggage or unexpected surprises thrown into the mix.
The lack of a previous mate or child also gives couples the option to start planning for a family right off the bat, if they so choose. The show obviously cannot predict whether couples have illegitimate children they don’t know about, and that problem has yet to surface on the show.
In addition to assessing the mental capacity, morals, and ethics of applicants, the show’s experts need physical data, including a DNA test. This is largely to guarantee that applicants are not accidentally marrying their own relatives, or have any conditions that could cause complications for the couple down the road.
Couples will also be asked for the hip-to-waist ratio of women, and the hip-to-shoulder ratio in men. Studies have shown that women and men gauge their partner’s sexual desirability based on these two key traits, which further adds to the process of finding a compatible mate.
Decision Day is the show’s big moment where couples decide on the fate of their relationship, and experts finally realize their success rate. Whatever happens on “D-Day” should be supported by both parties in a marriage, and sometimes it is not an easy decision to make, especially for couples who got off to a rocky start.
Opening up to US Magazine, participant Neil Bowlus gave fans some insight into what goes on in the couple’s minds on D-Day. Neil revealed that he opted for divorce, as he sought a more intimate relationship. For him, work did not end at the divorce, as he spent 6 more months interacting with the experts, getting him into a comfortable place where he could achieve friendly terms with his ex.
TV productions cost money, which is why there is always an end to the series. This is also why there are only 8 weeks recorded on camera. For curious viewers, life moves on after the show, with no insight into what goes on, at least from the perspective of the production crew.
The closest fans can get to keeping track of their favorite couples is via social media. A good case is Davina Kullar and Sean Varricchio, who opted for divorce at the end of season 2. After the show, Kullar remarried, making the announcement in a series of photos on Instagram. Conversely, Varricchio took to Twitter to express his thoughts on the show, and that he had moved on with his life.
The show’s producers view the surprise aspect so seriously, that they ensure participants’ social media is hidden in order to prevent research. In a long interview with Cosmopolitan, Clark from season 2 divulged that all social media is hidden. He confessed that he had no interest in getting to know the other couples.
He also confirmed that they never met anyone else during the process, only meeting a couple of people on science day, while never meeting any of the other couples throughout the program. He added that to ensure that there was no crossover, all social his social media was hidden, and there was no way someone could access another’s info.
The wedding day does include a guest limit restriction, typically around 20 people or so. This is obviously to ensure that camera angles are properly set up, and can be adequately exploited to capture the event. With so many people wandering about, the technical challenges would be insurmountable.
Everything from sound mixing, to cutaways and pickups, would be severely affected. However, the shortened guest limit can be problematic for some, especially those who dream of a big wedding day with all their friends and family in attendance. Unfortunately, it’s not doable within the context of a reality show.