Have you ever heard the story of the ‘golden children’ who were raised like robots by their parents to be the best at everything? The best school, the best job, the best friends, and being the best of everything seemed like a duty for these children.
Golden children are loved by their families, your performance is high Depends on whether or not. In fact, we can say that it is not necessary to be an expert to understand how unhealthy this situation is.
The most striking detail in the golden child syndrome is that parents say that they want their children’s well-being, and in fact, this discourse does nothing but control the children. of a child don’t be a golden boy Unfortunately, the most important support in front of him on his way is his parents with narcissistic personalities.
To please their parents, children fear and anxiety He has to take action to be the best with such feelings. Because these kids have no chance to disappoint their parents!
You are my child, you have to be like me!
In the golden boy syndrome It can be said that parents see their children as an extension of themselves. Parents essentially ignore their own children’s capacity and expect them to always achieve the highest goals.
Such an upbringing is almost like something that has permeated the child’s brain from an early age. ‘you must be perfect’ is the signal. The only purpose of the children after this hour is to attract the attention of their parents by showing the excellent performance expected of them. Well, have you ever thought about what kind of profile a child who internalizes the thought of “I should do something to attract attention” at an early age becomes an individual?
Performance is the only condition for being loved for children who are forced to be perfect.
When the golden children grow up, they do not fully trust themselves, therefore they have a secret insecurity They can be said to live. Because these children were brought up to never make mistakes. For this reason, they know very well that they will be sacrificed for the slightest mistake.
These children are also likely to feel worthless later in life. In fact, thoughts such as that if I fail in business life in the future, I will not be loved and I will be excluded keep eating away at their brains. Actually the biggest problem here narcissistic parents not giving their children the opportunity to be children!
As they say, “It has grown and shrunk”, that account…
Golden children, their parents strict and controlling they grow by multiplying your attitude. In fact, this growth begins at a very early age. Likewise, children never have time to do what their peers do, as parents already see their children as beings who must constantly satisfy themselves.
The responsibilities imposed on the golden child at an early age; fame, making a name and always success. So that their parents can use sentences that start with “my child” in the social environment. golden children; As a child, he almost killed all his childish, pure feelings.
This tragic situation of children is reinforced by the need to please not only their parents but also everyone they see as authority figures in their later years. Likewise, these children turn into individuals who unquestioningly sacrifice themselves in the future. take the responsibility gets. When they do this, they think that they will attract the attention of others, just as they tried to win the favor of their parents in childhood.
If I compete with others, I am loved.
Golden children who are insecurely attached to their parents become more likely to be with others later in life. to establish an emotional connection He can fight completely with others for it. In addition, children may want to stay away from others completely or show too much attachment to others.
Golden boys are not easily satisfied when they grow up because They always know they have to work harder. This shows that these children are prone to behaviors such as alcoholism, gambling addiction, and excessive sexuality in their later years. So can a golden boy cope with golden boy syndrome?
Self-compassion, therapy, and keeping boundaries will heal golden children and heal their wounds.
It is said that it is important for the golden children to be able to give themselves the approval they expect from others when needed. In order to overcome the parental traumas they experienced, receive therapy It can help them discover their personal limits. Learning to say no and being able to say me first is very effective for the golden boys to show everyone who they are.
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