Biohacking just isn’t fun

The author

Tillmann Prüfer is a member of the editor-in-chief of “Zeit-Magazin”.

I recently got my hands on an issue of The Red Bulletin that explained how to become a better, if not a perfect person. That doesn’t mean that you have to do something nice for others because of it or something, you can stay exactly the same disgust as before.

Rather, the optimization relates to the metabolic processes. There are some things that are rather suboptimal for us. The magazine reported on the biohacker Ben Greenfield, who recommends finding out the “minimal effective dose” of everything. So the dose that is just right for the effect on the body. So about 20 minutes of exercise rather than two hours – I immediately found that sympathetic.

But that is only a small part of the perfection menu. It’s also about red light therapy, smart drugs, nootropics, and supplements. Not all of this costs money: It also helps to take a cold shower before going to bed, as it lowers the body temperature. And warm socks should be worn in bed.

You should also fast regularly. This activates cell rejuvenation in the body. Every now and then an ice bath. And of course go to bed early. All of this has a prolonging effect on life.

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Electrodes can also be attached to the brain to use microcurrent to stimulate ATP production. It is very elaborate what you can do. There is a huge biohacker scene that practices all of this. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them, I’m mostly on the road to shorten my life.

The imperfect is always more interesting

The problem with the biohacker tips is that they’re not fun at all. It’s just not so nice to take a cold shower. And fasting is not as nice as eating. I don’t have to say anything about ice baths. I’m much more into hot showers, drinking and other things that I can’t think of right now.

I might be available for the consumption of smart drugs. On the other hand, drugs don’t necessarily have to be intelligent for me. Stupid drugs are enough for me too, they should by no means be smarter than me.

The problem would also be: What do you do with the entire lifetime that you gain in this way? You just have to take a cold shower every day. And as I know the optimizers, the older you get, the more often you have to take cold showers. I actually find the imperfect more and more interesting. Franz Kafka is more interesting than Frank Schätzing, for example. Life is a single imperfect business.

At some point we die, and the only ones left are the optimizers, telling the rest of the world and each other all day that they were always right. I would like to be dead by now, if that can be arranged.

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