Fat shaming, or ‘grossophobie’ in French, is a prevalent issue that often arises from well-meaning comments about weight and body image. This article discusses seven harmful phrases to avoid, emphasizing the negative impact they can have on self-esteem and body perception. It advocates for more supportive language that respects individuals of all sizes, highlighting the importance of empathy and understanding in conversations about body image. By changing our dialogue, we can foster a more inclusive and kind environment.
Understanding Fat Shaming: A Common Issue
Have you ever encountered someone who, despite having good intentions, said something that hurt you? This scenario is quite frequent in conversations about weight and body image. In English, we refer to this as “fat shaming,” while in French, it’s known as ‘grossophobie.’ Unfortunately, this form of discrimination is more prevalent than many people realize.
7 Phrases to Eliminate from Our Conversations
The challenge lies in the fact that these seemingly innocent or well-meaning comments often carry toxic implications regarding body image. Even when spoken with kindness, they can negatively affect the recipient. Many of these phrases are uttered by parents, teenagers, or friends without a second thought. To foster a more positive dialogue, here are seven phrases you should consider eliminating from your conversations for the benefit of everyone involved.
“You’ve lost weight, you look great!” While this may appear to be a compliment, it can be quite damaging. This statement suggests that the person’s previous appearance was somehow inferior and ties their worth to their weight. As eating disorder specialist Christine Byrne points out, there are numerous reasons someone might lose weight, many of which are not healthy or positive. Complimenting a person’s weight loss could inadvertently highlight insecurities or hidden struggles. If you wish to compliment someone, focus on their qualities without mentioning their weight.
“You should lose weight, it’s a shame, you have a pretty face!” This phrase is particularly harmful. Many individuals who have experienced being overweight have encountered this comment. Although it may be intended as a compliment, it can feel more like an insult, suggesting that something is fundamentally wrong with the individual. This reinforces the idea that beauty is conditional upon being thin. Every body deserves to be appreciated as it is, regardless of size or health. Instead of saying someone has a pretty face, simply tell them they are beautiful.
“You are not fat, you are beautiful!” Although this may be said with good intentions, it sends a damaging message by positioning “fat” and “beautiful” as opposing concepts. Body image expert Ivy Felicia emphasizes that these terms can coexist. If someone refers to themselves as “fat,” it is not an insult. Dismissing their feelings by saying they are not fat ignores their reality and perpetuates the stigma associated with the term. Instead of contradicting them, validate their feelings in a supportive way.
“Come on, today we are having a cheat day!” This phrase, rooted in diet culture, suggests that there are “good” and “bad” foods. Activist Tigress Osborn argues that this moralizes food choices and places blame on what we eat. It’s time to destigmatize our eating habits; enjoying a burger or dessert is simply a part of life, not a moral failing.
“Okay, I’m going to be bad and eat this cake…” Associating food with notions of morality only reinforces negative attitudes towards our choices. Such statements may seem innocent, but they reflect a culture that teaches us to judge our eating habits. Osborn reminds us that food has no moral value; a cookie is just a cookie. Embracing moderation in our treats is healthier than depriving ourselves.
“At least, since you are sick, you will be able to lose weight!” This comment, meant to be comforting, is deeply misguided. Associating illness with weight loss trivializes serious health issues and upholds an unhealthy beauty standard. Activist Tegan Lecheler points out that this attitude diminishes the significance of health and promotes the false notion that thinness is the ultimate goal. If you’re unsure how to provide comfort, a simple smile can be much more effective.
“I feel fat.” We’ve all either heard or said this phrase, but it’s essential to understand that “fat” is not a feeling. Using it in this context reinforces the idea that being fat is negative. Instead, express your true feelings such as exhaustion, sadness, or frustration. This not only promotes a healthier dialogue but also demonstrates empathy, especially in the presence of those who may be struggling with body image themselves.
Ultimately, transforming the way we communicate is easier than it may seem. It starts with empathy, understanding, and choosing our words carefully. Everyone deserves respect and kindness, irrespective of their body shape or size. By making these simple changes in our language, we can create a more supportive environment for ourselves and those around us.